The Unidentified Mistake

 I followed tiptoe to Ravin as he was walking by the sea shore alone in the evening. It made me feel strange to think about the reason of why he would stay aloof and keep himself away from the lights and the sound of the party. I only met him the day before at that office picnic at Mandarmani, but I would not lie to surrender that I had fallen for him. He looked the cutest among all and I just could not help myself as usual.

''Ummm...Hi'', I poked.

He turned to me in surprise and resumed his walk without any reaction. I was slightly taken aback by such reaction and marched along the same path with him. The whole one minute of silence started to irritate me. I interrupted, ''Ravin, right? Well I am Mithu, from Bhubaneswar. I guess this is not your  first time to this Bengal beach and so you are not so interested to join in. Huh?''

-- ''Not really. I am bit disturbed.''

--''Disturbed? Okay! So let me cheer you up with some good news!''

He looked at me and coldly said ''What?''

-- ''Tomorrow we'll be having a beach party late night. Doesn't that sound exciting? I am so excited to think what to wear!''

--''I am leaving tomorrow morning.''

I was shocked to know his no interest to such a breathtaking celebration. I gaped at him and screamed '' Whaaaaaatt?''

He took a deep breath and confirmed me about his leaving the day after. Suddenly, out of the blue he asked me, ''Will you join me?''

The whole night I could not sleep and had scratched my brain aimlessly. I had been always an extrovert woman but such a hollow proposal made me restless to think deeper. The next morning sharp at six I was ready with my luggage at his doorstep of the resort-cottage. The sun was still fading in the foggy quilt. Ravin was in a very casual dress with a big sling-bag and tapped me to follow him.

The Volvo-bus was late by an hour to Kolkata. He called a taxi and asked the driver to take through E.M Bypass. That was the first time I had been to Kolkata and at the very first glimpse  the city appeared so very busy to me. ''Big double-decker buses and tram lines here and there with people with no discipline on traffic rules.... Big crowds and markets everywhere with so much noise and pollution'', my eyes almost had to filter the dusts and pollution. Somehow we managed to overcome the traffic jam and crossed the city to drive through a longer smooth way to Eastern Bypass. The cold air touched my nostrils as I was hanging my head on the window pane and my eyes were forcibly closed by the gust of the wind. The strangles of my hair messed up my face to cover it up .

''It's a new city. You must up the glass. You may catch cold.'', Ravin was concerned. I nodded my head and continued to inhale the chilled air.

''Please take a U-turn and stop in front of that white building,'' Ravin directed the cab driver. It was a big white building with innumerable people, cars and... 'Ambulances'! I gazed at Ravin with a puzzled look as he asked me to get in.

The doctor asked Ravin to wait outside. I also did not know what exactly to do. I was so confused. I even did not know why we were there. The only word that was roaming around my sense-organs was ''Anjali''! I tried peeping through the glass side of her cabin and could not take it to my strength. Thicker needles were penetrating into her thin skin. Her eyes were closed. She was under tranquilizer. I turned to Ravin. He was silent, sitting on the couch at one side. I again turned back. The little girl was still asleep.

We ordered for two parathas and sabji for each of us at a nearby roadside dhaba. I triggered as Ravin took his first bite, ''Who's she?''

Ravin swallowed, looked at me with his eyes reflecting some pain. He continued to start with his next bite with his silent answer '' don't ask please!'' I was sure, something that I could intuited and that within me over ruled such emptiness. ''Ravin, you can share it with me. I am sure that would comfort you. I understand you are under some pressure.''

His face was still lowered down at his food except a drop that fell from his eyes to the table below it. ''Hey Ravin, it's alright. She will be fine. Ravin...'', I put my left hand on his shoulder and tried to give him a piece of solace.

We drove to a nearby lake, shadowed my myriad innumerable trees. The silent ambience away from the bustling city and the shabby sunrays through leafy nests succored Ravin. He held my hands tight and lowered down his face, belittled. ''Trust me, I never wanted it. Please help me.'', Ravin uttered as he baffled with his sobs and pain. I was perplexed to understand what to say to him next.

He cued in,'' Anjali is from my village; she lost her parents in an accident after her birth. She stays with her grandparents who are very poor. They don't have money to put their daughter to a school. I convinced them and brought her to this city with me to put her in school. And I had done this with a true and helping motto. Two weeks back this five year old girl came with me to study. I love her like my daughter. Trust me, you can even come to my house and check what things I have bought her for her comfort and happiness.... Toys, dresses, books, crayons....Chocolates. But...'', he covered his face and sighed. He started nodding his head so as to disagree with something that was not supposed to happen at any cost. He closed his eyes in a paroxysm and clutched his hair. I was silent and tried to review what could have happened. He tried mending him up, '' It was a late Friday night. I was drunk after the office party. When I unlocked the door, she was sleeping on her bed with her bare legs curled. I just don't know what had happened to me. I felt to kiss her lips and legs. And I dived on her. She tried to scream and kick me in pain. But my demon stature easily could overcome her fragile strength. And I RAPED her! ...Shit! How could I!!

The unwary incident did not play so much to shock me. I was listening to him calmly. I knew he was suffering more than Anjali. And he needed that shoulder for comfort and share his unidentified mistake. I hugged him to make him feel fine.

 He sobbed and said, '' Do you know, how Anjali was suffering due to me, my stupid fault and greed? She was senseless. It took me one full hour to return to reality. And thirty more minutes to take decisions if to kill her and bury her or to hospitalize her. I called up Sandip. He is a doctor and a college friend of mine.  He helped me to put her in the hospital and to continue with her treatment. Since last one week she's sleeping like a cold stone. Did not even open her eyelids once. Yesterday my mother had called me up to know about her. I lied. I said, she has gone to play upstairs with the daughter of my neighbour. Ah! Shit! How could I.... How could I...!!!!''

I had to spend the night at Ravin's flat. I believed he could be a safe friend in this unknown city. But I could not sleep for the whole night. So many thoughts crowded my mind. I peeped in Ravin's room. He was sleeping like a child. I went to the kitchen to have a coffee. The hot coffee and the starless dark sky of the silent city from the balcony doped me to fall in love with it. The red blinking light from the far off hoarding intense my emotions for the strange unknown city.

I don't remember when did I fall asleep. The clattering of the window curtain woke me up. I found myself sitting by the dining table with my head on it. Ravin smiled at me, ''seems you could not rely. Not very strange too. Unknown city, unknown place, unknown person and his known story. Isn't it?''

- Nothing like that Rav...

-It's alright buddy.

He cut me in the between of my reply. I kept silent for a moment and tried changing the topic, ''When are we leaving for the hospital?''

- You want to visit her?

- What do you mean by that? I mean, why not?

He smiled back with his twinkling eyes and said, '' so hurry up! Let's not be late.''

The city in the fresh morning light looked appealing. The hide and seek of blue and white sky through the mesh of tall apartments kissed my sight. The tree- less highway looked like my toothless granny. And Ravin --- he looked fresh and crisp than ever!

The doctor confirmed about the betterment of Anjali. Anjali had started responding to the medicines. But the doctor could not confirm if she would suffer from any memory-loss. We were waiting in the lobby. The nurse called Ravin in, ''Sir, please come in. Your child is getting back senses.''

Ravin's eyes were sparkling with joy, but again he stopped being scared of being recognized of his sin by the little girl. Ravin was struggling with his dilemma.  I stood up and held his hand. ''Ravin, go. She needs you.'' Ravin followed the nurse. I was observing them from the glass side of the cabin. I heard Ravin's cracked voice, ''Anjuu...Anjalii...''

---B-a-b-a-a...

---Yes sweetheart! Are you alright? Is it paining so much?

---Ba-baa where were you? It has pained here so much. What are we doing here? I want to go back home...

---We will dear, we will pretty soon.

---Where is Mamma?

I could hear Anjali's feeble voice. Ravin pointed at me. She turned to the glass side and spread her arms to call me. I felt to be caught in the magnetic spell of the five year old Anjali.  

Anjali  was inefficient enough to suffer any more. And after much scuffling she had at least survived. Say it a miracle or a curse, she had forgotten her past and accepted Ravin as her father. Ravin is blessed to have called as dad by Anjali  and me as well as Ma. Five years have passed. New incidents are tucked as time flies by. Anjali is now studying in a reputed school. She is a brilliant student and the best daughter any parent can have. Destiny is such a big magician that it lets us three meet with no clue for each other and at the end of it, trapped us with the same bait to each of us called ''the family''.