The Rising Hopes

(a joint venture by Anisha Dutta and Jayeeta Ghosh on War & Peace)

No option....but tension!

Too many options, and confusion,

Bangs head;

 Be busy in leisure,

And pick up your pleasure,

 Feel filled up and fall dead.

 Choked up in frustration, 

Tears of desperation, 

Lost in thy mirages---

Perplexed as they surface!

 Why so torn and teary?

The sky so deep,

The shooting stars glitter,

Allow yourself to breathe,

They look so bright and fiery,

Approaching slowly hither.

 When ambition outshines emotion, 

Stars laugh in unison

...and when the sun rises in the horizon, 

I search for my destination

 Through a plethora of lanes, 

And torn I stand, 

amidst the world or gems...

Or what my heart craves?

Destination meets despair,

All unknown and bare,

Un-torn withered care

My consolidated emotions;

 My heart, it craves for love,

Amidst the land of pains,

The pain that gives pleasure---

Plattered my emotions untamed.

 When love meets in full adorn,

The seeds of ambition blossom,

Planted in depth within

...and the war beneath:

 “War – war” everywhere,

The death that drools as they swear,

Come let us join hands

To flush and drain out despair.

The grey it hinds, backdrop behind,

Rainbow hues, monsoon blows.

 Let’s come together

Put hopes behind bliss,

Wonder at the glitter

Of those shimmers that yonder.

(c) Anisha Dutta & Jayeeta Ghosh

My Reason to be Happy

The night is so dark, my dreams that embark,

I love to laugh, my heart allows,

I sipped and drank milk, gowned in red silk,

I caressed my hair and wallowed.

I tossed and reposed, my heart that proposed,

I engrossed my happy moods,

The end of the day, looked full and so gay,

The birds left for home and broods.

I missed and so kissed, my heart felt so blessed,

The list of my fun endless,

Peeping through flicks, or taking new clicks,

Reflects the mood on my face.

I sit on the chair, blushing and fair,

Thinking of you and me,

Dreaming my dreams, with you it so seems,

I live a life full of blue sea.

I play my guitar, starring a star,

Limelight as though on me,

Cooking good food, fancy imbued,

Such small things can make me happy.

I looked at the sky, the stars winked by,
The bliss of the night's upon,
I smiled in my heart, that no one can hurt,
The moon shone the night, she frowned.
I wish me goodnight, and let me sleep tight,
And dream a sweet dream ever,
The dark and despair, vanish to fair,
Promise, you’ll forget me never.

You leave or love me, or set me carefree,

I still will sail ahead and live,

Nothing gets stopped, nor even is cropped,

Life moves on that I believe.

My Tossing Dreams

I woke up when the crimson streaks in the sky still looked so lazy,

The night seemed fading, the dawn felt drowsy;

My dreams --- I disappointed ‘him’, still tossing in my brain,

The bed still untamed with emotions, scattered senses censored burden.

My dreams still in lust with me, kissing my lips, leaping my heart,

I made love with ‘him’, transmitting hormones, just could not stay apart.

I’s dreaming castles in the air, kissing my emotions and ecstasy

I was building up my lost desires, adoring my occult fantasy.

The clamour and the commotion that perturbed the vents of my vein,

That sucked my faculty emoted, and left me numb in sweet pain.

My eyes with ado of dreams I lost,

I sat up in silence, the dreams, ‘he’ still tossed.

I cried in Rains

I tried and cried amidst the rains,
That would help me drain my pains,
I befriend the rain to be my guide,
I knew my tears, it could hide,
I bathed, refreshed, I screamed silence,
I walked by my memories, hence, in the rains.

The droplets filled and burnt my  eyes,

What is life? A mirror of lies?

Cobbling them with pools of tears,

Scaring frights and crumbled fears,

Filled with fled and mourning pains,

It rains, and rains. I scream silence.

It blurred my sight, it spilled my heart,

The heart it broke, the heart that’s hurt.

It scorched my heart and my mind,

My eyes that flood, and tears to hide.

I cried in rain with brimming pain,

It made me mad, I grew insane.

The Strangers

Long after seventeen years, we met amidst the same old crowd,

The same insane madness of people running after the whistle and the green flag,

All of whom were in the same haste to come back to their homes,

And the same old place and time;

Just that we two were changed.

The date was different...

And so was the moment.

I remember your adventure to explore the tunnels and depth,

That you dug my heart and soul too,

We would depart someday,

We never knew.

You looked like the same young chap,

Whom I left alone at this same place,

With the brown greyish hat,

You had the same keen eyes,

And the same teasing slice of smile on your lips.

You haven’t let go your dream unmet, I can see.

You’re honoured with the grey streaks on your hair,

By the grace of your age,

You looked handsome to attract any female brain.

My heart, she refrains.

My heart, she leaped and hunted since then,

To find you out as in memories again,

I failed; I fell into routine, life and dilemma.

I wanted to run and slip into your arms,

I wanted to be kissed and kiss you once.

But we left it back together since then,

The magic, the moment, the time, the souls...

They left us alone.

We met like ‘strangers’ after seventeen years again,

Amidst the same crowd, mad and insane.

The Time

You don’t bind me with the pain of ages, years and days,

I’d like to fly by the sky, 

To count the clouds and stay,

Bereft of frustrations and desperations and despair:

Would love to sit back on the peaceful feather and fly,

Bereft of isolated suffocations and tears:

Unveiling my soaring hopes and dreams,

To rise high and touch the sky.

I believe to be born every moment,

Rejoicing life and its paces,

Its turns and twists and twirls,

New hopes and dreams reborn too,

The eyes glitter in wonder,

The Cosmo gizmo of the solitude swirls.

What are you awaited to?

What are you awaited for?

You can fall in love with one or more...

The sky can change its attire,

The sea can blush in red,

The moon can eat its own half,

A new bud can take its bloom,

The butterfly can peek and seek for a new rose....

Even a prostitute can get her new home!

The time is relative by its means,

It’s just that we pass by and count,

We are scared and feared to be bound,

We want to stop the hands of the clock going round.

Will that stop everything and eternalise all?

Will that make a stroll of corpse, killing the poisoned world?

Will you be able to what you want to let happen?

Will you not still try to breath and be alive?

We try ... we try to make the things fall in place.

We try to put the end of all in grace.

The time it fetches and moves by the scornful beats,

We count till we leap and our heart beats.

Falling in Love

I fall in love with my life

I fall in love with tears

I make love with my memories

Love that’s lost in fears.

I love the colour of snowfall,

The colourless colour of rains,

Falling and soothing my heart that falls,

Amidst the scorching pains.

I love the smell of leaves,

That are withered and fallen apart,

I love doing painting ripples,

The imaginations that depart.

I love the lust for the whole sky,

Crimson red galore,

I love being sailed on oceans blue,

The night that stars adore.

I nestle at my paradise,

Of imagines, images and dreams,

I draw vivid picture,

Roaming around my realms.

I flirt with my emotions,

I love to take the pain,

I add on chips of pleasure in it,

I fall in love; I refrain.

I dream my eyes closed to see,

The beauty of my heart,

I fall in love with myself and soul,

I love being lonely, apart.

We love being forgotten ourselves,

And live on other’s hopes,

We live and leave our own dreams,

And make their world our globe.

It’s easy to love somebody,

Than loving your soul and brain,

You will never ever leave yourself,

And inject life with pain.

Start loving your own heart from today,

Worship yourself and soul,

You will find all happiness,

The key to success and goal.

The Intoxicating Memories

It gulps me, swallows too,

Inside the hollow of carbon and rising fumes,

It leaves the hallowing memories in its dust;

The incision of my memories,

Reminiscing journey to the world of mourning pains,

The nights of sobs flicker on my pillow,

With the remains of its lust and lure.

The larking dark parked at the vent of my gasping breath,

With the drooling greed through the gullet,

It lingers around and surrounds everywhere,

On my chest, inside my breasts manifests,

My brain is cobbled and shoved,

Of its facts and stores,

It’s left numb and blank forever.

I don’t sense wink or a blink,

I shrink.

I know not the time, the pace, and the reign

The minnow decked up attires of wit,

Humble to mumble and grumble on my deeds,

I fight with my memories.

I combat them, at every wink of my breathe

I redeem solace.

The terrific torture of the torment,

Leaves me sordidly intoxicated...

With my lifeless life, staying a-live

Amidst the rainbow world,

It kills me, poisoning me sweetly like ever,

It holds my throat and floats me forever,

In the rivers of memory ruminating,

Sinks me deep, keeping me a-live,

Through my breathless numb and nameless life.

My heart does beat to keep me a-live.

It sucks my life to keep me a-live.

Boon to be Born

What if the sun never rose?

...to clean the dusk and doom...

What if the tree never shade?

...and the roses never bloom?

The eyes were never given the light of sight,

The stars were never given the bliss of night.

Would the bird have ever been migrated flying high?

The rainbow would then never adore the huge blue sky.

The sea would have been gasping without its water,

The breeze would have fled away along with the storm,

The rain would have never come to cool down the earth,

The earth would have never been so beautiful in autumn.

What if the bees never seduce the flowers?

What if the butterflies looked like caterpillars?

The mother would have been never there to give birth to her child,

Be it human, or an insect, birds and beasts of wild.

The dead would have never taken rebirth to see life,

The stars and moon go lucky or unlucky, the fate gets swiped.

We water our dreams and hopes, seeking care unworn,

Life is bliss, like a morning kiss, it’s the boon to be born.

A Bottle of Water

A bottle of water placed on the table,

It glitters the candle lit,

The water is silent, silver-lined,

With no ripples in it.

The water takes same shape and colour

Like just the bottle looks,

The bottled water shine as to

Shine and bright the nook.

The bottled water could not come out,

Until poured and sipped,

It would remain unknown ever,

If the taste is sweet.

The tiny droplets gathered

By the wall of bottle pet,

It proves to be from the fridge,

Taken out and then kept.

So is emotion when in heart,

Takes the same look ‘n’ flow,

You keep it in dark, it won’t shine,

Give it light to glow.

It remains silent till it’s touched,

Unsealed of its box,

With the emotions bottled up,

Just waiting for the knock.

You give it love, will love you back,

The heart will blush and shy,

You hurt the heart, fight with it,

It will leave you cry.

The heart gathers so many senses,

Emotion’s one of them,

It is how, you to master,

To know and learn to tame.

There are lot of ups and downs,

To put the life in test,

You need to decide on your own,

Who’s the host and guest.

That’s how life proves you with

It is a manifold,

You keep your heart locked forever,

And leave the emotions untold.

The story of the Little Girl

“Curly hair, tied with laces,

In her pink silk dress,

Smiling happy, full of joy,

Playing at the corner of terrace.

She dressed her doll, looked like her,

Treated it as her child,

She had a set of crockery too,

She cooked some leaves from wild.

It’s so strange, from the childhood,

A daughter is set like a ‘Wife’,

With a doll and toy-crockery too,

As if to guide her life.

She’s given all such toys,

Along her mental set,

She learns to cook, and makes too food,

And to make the bed.

Soon she knows how to wash,

To do the household jobs,

How to charm and be loving to all,

How to hide her sobs.

Soon the bell of the church

 Is rung so hard and loud,

If she wants, or she doesn’t,

Her likes are simply not allowed.

The rings of glitz and of glam,

Had to be exchanged with the groom,

She never knew, with golden hue,

She tied the knot with doom.

She wishes or not, it doesn’t matter,

It is her duty untold,

She locks her heart, silence moaned,

Along her mind and soul.

The little girl, playing with her doll,

Amidst the unknown storm,

Thunder rattled, and she battled,

She stood though weak, but firm.

She tried so hard, standing strong,

Again she fell and failed,

She’s hurt and cut, made apart,

She knew she’d then soon be knelled.

She fought and ran, fled she came,

Her eyes so moist and scared,

She missed her doll, her little pie,

She wants it back to be paired.

The doll still longed for her hand

She never let it go

She made the promise to feed her baby,

And water her plants that she sowed.

The plants of hope, her dreams and life,

The seeds of joy she sowed,

She sees her desires coming true soon,

Her river of life overflowed.

She plucked out leaves torn and weathered,

And left them in the pond,

The leaves they move, alone and anon,

Out of sight they had gone.

The autumn fall, spring came too,

And came birds and bees,

Her garden looked so beautiful now,

All looked fine off crease.

The stars again shone, the night dressed bright,

The little girl kissed her doll.

...and that was the story, you must have loved...”

Kissed her son, Mommy told.

Waiting for an Interview

I was fully decked up, neatly combed my hair,

I was looking a witty nerd, with all my docs glow fair.

I was bit tensed inside, my heart leaped every beat,

I was memorising some tips, how to treat the greet.

Before me were ten more, sitting straight like saints,

All were looking so tensed up, tightening collars and dents.

Butterflies flied inside, my heart went folded small,

I felt like weak and childish, despite so strong and tall.

The clock looked like a spider, trying to cob my brain,

The silence appeared more sound, boredom full of pain.

I could become a writer, could write and read whole life,

But my dad financed for his dreams, and the desires of his wife.

They wanted me to be an ‘idiot’, so put me in some exams,

Then let me go to college, so that an Engineer I become.

And I got the pass-marks, titled too with B.Tech,

My ‘passion’ scolds me daily, as ‘she’ knows it’s full fake!

To let ‘her’ know I love her, I steal my time from bedtime,

If dad somehow would come to know, would surely acknowledge it a ‘crime’!

He must enjoy his retirement, and repose and relax a settled life,

This is the time he can do anything, apart from poking me, planning rife.

Suddenly entered another nerd, in haste and pushed the door in,

A thick specs, oiled hair, and white shirt matched perfect with his broad grin.

He threw and hooked a narrow look, as if I came from direct jail,

He acted so confident that he would make it and we’d fail.

I felt so boring with those craps; I don’t know what I was waiting for!

I wanted to cheer up for an F1 race, and run off from this torture.

I wished to see a sports match, rather than sitting there,

I wished to hang out with friends, but who would at all care?

I still cared the ‘Beauty’, cross-legged on her chair,

I couldn’t take my eyes off her and her bouncy hair.

I dreamt of dancing at party, holding her thin slim waist,

She looked a gorgeous beauty, adorably superbly dressed.

Why I didn’t know was waiting, for this bloody damn interview call!

Instead I could date the woman, in front of Niagara Falls.

She called each name of candidates, directed to move to hall,

I desired to take her for dinner, and hating these happening all.

Suddenly my name was triggered, her rosy lips infused,

I stood up firm and numb too, tensions overdue.

The Death of the Armour

The old saggy haggard,

Trying to keep his pace proper,

Moving as if pushed by,

The torn broken Armour.

His eyes so sobbed,

His sight more weak,

Veins cut and bruised,

Blood clotted in creeks.

The empty battlefield sulk,

The cold wind brushed through,

The smell of agony and mourn,

Along with gun-powder too.

The armour no more so bright,

Or shinning like a sun,

Wished to go back home,

Lonely, unknown man.

Along the rocks and stones,

Remains the blood and flesh,

The death of dead royals,

Cut  heads, unidentified face.

The hungry armour thirsty,

Perching on and walk,

The dusk fell upon the sunset,

No stars, and fate and luck.

He finds the globe, fight-less,

Manless, nameless, no food too,

No water, shelter, neighbour,

No aim, so lame and painful.

The rueful journey catwalks,

Silence plays the theme song,

Breathless life acts ruthless,

Who decides what’s right, what’s wrong?

He is weary and tired of fighting all life,

He never knew a Life without a war and rife.

The armour so proud of being alive,

In the warfront amidst all deads,

Tonight stooping on the verge of edge,

Embracing silence, peace of death.

His cry that dried, chinned up to sky,

Prayed for well being of race,

And fell free, to the depth of death,

Died so weak; traceless. 

The Final Test

Sometimes,

Life tests you, all  through...

---Your patience, time, emotions, perceptions and values.

But does life itself know the significance of Soul?

What is its part? What is its role?

Life will offer you happiness and hardships diluted,

A breathless inert life, corpse-like, that it had manifested.

The investments of your soul and goal would likely to go waste...

Don’t think it’s all yours. Feel free to be the Guest.

You try to mould yourself with the necessities

And willingly or unwillingly accept them;

You learn and make yourself up for further--

That you peek and learn all to tame.

You fall, get hurt and bruised, but survive...

You turn a naked saint

With no  soul or a heart, neither any face,

You are just so lifeless...

Helpless too.

You are hurt to be yourself,

Trying to be matched and attached with it.

The life does like the water flows,

And it moves and flows by...

Water is river, water is sea,

It is even when you cry.

Water is pure when colourless,

What if a rainbow too?

When life reflects to be lifeless,

Life is testing you.

The Inert

The room so dark, black and silent,

Seemed the night’s fighting with the empty

Rooms of thought, persistence and prevalence,

As the depth enmeshed sufferings and pains.

The palette of darkness, poised and poisoned;

I lit the candle with the friction of matchstick,

In a fraction of second, the moment on  the fulcrum---

The room looked glorified, bright and better.

The sigh of relief relaxed on my breathes,

My heart counted each and every beat,

The coldness of the stress runs through my spine,

My eyes shone in light. I still fight. And I strive.

I heard the drums of death drooling,

And I shut my eyes to recover,

I sense the reconciliation of my soul and brain,

No urge, no wish, no heart or pain.

Salty droplets adore my eyes,

I want to cry, shout and scream...

I found the candle melting wax,

Light above, beneath is the dark,

I stared to see the melting truth...

Hot, liquefied watery flows,

Hardened by the life and flaws,

Colour or colourless contoured life,

My soul left me, just body was alive.

“‘I’ die... ‘I’ die...”, I prayed within me.

My mourning moan steals my faith,

I carry the blood and germ – ‘’Society’’

And I was left alone on the wheelchair of time,

Awaiting for a hand  to travel helpless.

(Untitled)

You don’t leave me alone,

You don’t learn to move yourself,

You dull and gloom, dark, uninspired,

What are you scared of my dear?

Or have you fallen in love with my soul?

Why can’t you walk alone,

And enjoy a walk by the path?

Why can’t you learn to stand alone

And be yourself and strong?

Why can’t you think all by yourself

And dream too?

Are you dead or pretend to be so?

What are you fear of and be so scared?

Why can’t you understand, you are not cared?

Are you life or emotional insane?

Why can’t you go and leave me to myself?

Why can’t you be identified and recognised?

You lame, inactive: I just don’t need you.

How could you be locked by yourself,

Till the night fights with dark?

Why can’t you move on and safely let yourself park?

I shout and scream at you so long,

Why can’t you just flee?

Why can’t you breathe and be happy

Without  me?

Why can’t you leave me and away somewhere go?

-‘’because ‘am born to be your dull gloom shadow!”

The Coin, I found

I was walking by the pavement,

Broken here and there,

I was so worried about my life,

Felt nobody was to care.

I felt like breaking into tears,

Feeling so sad at heart,

So lonely and helpless too,

All through I was so hurt.

Still the sun was so casual,

Rose at East, likewise,

The breeze, and the river flow too,

My happiness in disguise.

I sat by the swamp bank,

Floated withered leaves,

Was waiting for some luck in life,

And found it (shining) peeped.

I picked it up in my fingers,

Frowning my eyebrows,

A silver coin that I found,

Damaged and full of woes.

I stared still fixed at it,

As I tried to know the detail,

I found it had two faces,

One head, another tail.

Once I turned to this side,

The other went off,

The portion could not be seen

Unless turned, or seeing very tough.

The head showed a king’s face,

Held so strong and firm,

With its value at the tail-side,

As I held it on my palm.

Both sides are inevitable,

They come altogether,

A coin will lose its identity,

One without the other.

And so is life with both ends,

Pleasure, and pain,

Happiness can never be sole holder,

Then what’s the use of brain?

Life will go monotonous,

Like a single coloured world,

With no hues and spices in it,

And will not be so occult.

Pain and sorrows too needed,

To taste the sweetness of joy,

It can never be a single sense,

Instead,  an emotional alloy.

We must welcome and cherish both,

Along our colourful life,

Or else one would surely die,

Instead of staying alive.

And I walked back by the same road,

The evening approached sky,

Life again became so meaningful for me,

I smiled and never cried.

The Death of Isolation

When the distance becomes unknown,

Loosened and torn, with the known,

The thread is about to tear,

Tore comes tear, along with its fear.

I look at them amazed.

They are gone so far, hearts at distance,

Galloping desires and hopes that fade,

My own people are they...

Its hurt to believe and relief,

They are not they who I knew,

Years ago, among the few,

The world they stood for me then.

I am left alone and lame,

Isolated, desolated –

Amidst the desert of monotony, agony and pain.

I need a cloud full rain, to drain my pain.

I need a sky full birds to take me away and fly,

I need a river full water to swim me along the brim;

I have forgotten to dream.

I have forgotten to live.

I have forgotten to breathe.

I have forgotten to be alive.

I run finding behind my curiosity,

The city of obscurity,

I lag behind, I fall, I set, I rise...

I never wanted to rise, I never wanted to die,

The peace of heaven I look for,

A single moment to be myself,

To be away from this world,

To be together with my soul...

I want to take a dip and drown into the sea of truth,

I want to take a sleep and slip into the heart of truth,

I sink in sync with the reality henceforth,

I die. I leave my corpse and lone clock aloof,

I lie. Alone. No soul. On the roof...

You :

I still get the aura of your untidy hair,

The smell from your chest,

The sweat and the adrenaline glands

That manifest...

The hardened firm palms,

The bruised finger tips,

And your stinking mouth,

Of nicotine addict,

I loved it all...

You were never at all careful and proper,

Neither decked up in choosy attire,

You looked so raw and crude like nature,

Like the flowing river with its alluring gesture,

And here and there, the untrimmed shrubs,

Over the hill tops, and the mountain herbs,

Still you looked so handsome and pleasant,

Your sense and emotions balancing decent,

I loved you like you were so carefree all through,

I loved you like you dreamt to see yourself grow,

I loved you like you enchanted with your charms,

And your eyes were so deep and depth,

You stole my heart, soul that you theft,

Your  rust skin tanned in sun,

You taught me with grasses beneath, fly and run.

The golden sands, the blue sky high,

With breeze and air, we used to fly.

You unzipped the sea of wealth and dreams,

Of love and creations, emotion beams.

And gasped came in the disastrous storm,

I was afraid it so much for long,

I told you, please hold my hands, and don’t let me leave,

You wanted; you tried too, but fell to be alive,

For me in true sense, not physically though,

And you unclasped my fingers, and made yourself go..

You left me alone, messed up my feels

Were you at all hurt to do so? Ever had any guilt?

You told me you can’t see my heart so hurt,

Then how did you go away, leaving me apart?

You broke my heart, you brought me tears,

I sobbed and cried, in sorrow and fears,

I can’t still believe, I lost you where,

I am so depressed and silent, can’t you hear?

Can’t you perceive and empathy on me?

Or just you came in to pass and flee?

I still behold my tears and memories,

Kept so carefully, locked in my soul,

With the golden kiss and emotions untouched,

Waiting for you to come untold.

I love you, still love you, just can’t breathe,

It suffocates inside, across, over, underneath.